At Praxis Circle, we’re interested in answering life’s deepest questions. That’s what our worldviews do. But there’s one question that continues to stump us: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Please see this recent article in Powerline for a list of hilarious answers from some of today’s biggest names. It samples the Donald, Hillary, Barack, Dr. Seuss, Albert Einstein, and Aristotle, just to name a few.
It got us to thinking.
Eben Alexander: The chicken didn’t cross the road. It’s an illusion. The chicken and road? Pure consciousness.
Allen Corey: To tap a cold one.
Anne Bradley: She was called. You know, chickens flourishing.
Jim Hall: I don’t get chicken philosophy.
Mary Eberstadt: Too much rooster. The issue of chickens crossing roads goes back to the ’60’s; it’s all about the Sexual Revolution.
Ladelle McWhorter: That’s a cisgender rooster. While his patriarchal cohort forms across the road, let’s move beyond categories; I will not despair.
Bart Ehrman: Didn’t make it past the center line. There’s no historical evidence that that particular chicken crossed at all.
Os Guinness: With no one looking, American chickens cross virtuously to practice their civil liberties.
Victoria Cobb: Why? She’s in the family way.
Jonathan Wight: Likely unethical. Given the traffic, a poor utilitarian calculus. There was a duty to act more virtuously.
Deirdre McCloskey: No doubt, bourgeois hen with serious attitude. So say my socialist friends. You go, Girl!
Roger Scruton: Yes, agreed. There is beauty in a chicken.
Rodney Stark: Enlightened chickens? No road crossing whatsoever without Christianity rising.
Walter Williams: Legalized theft. She caught the government redistributing eggs. Let chickens keep their eggs, and I’ll keep mine.
Ashley McGuire: Not all chickens lay eggs. Chicken gender matters.
Roscoe Brumback: The Spirit moved her.
Hank Sipe: GDAT. (Kosher translation: God Does All Things.)
Heather Mac Donald: Stop giving chicken preferences. Every animal should cross according to his/her ability. Besides, there aren’t enough talented chickens to satisfy everyone.
We hope these PC celebrity answers are helpful.
Our Executive Director, Doug Monroe, would also like to suggest that, while every chicken is different, this particular chicken is all about the Shane Principle (TSP) and creastruction. Just ask him. (He is a rooster, BTW; truth being the topic of our next post.)
That gamecock wanted to do the right thing; he just wanted it to be his idea.
As you would agree by now, Praxis Circle considers only the toughest chicken questions. In an earlier post (still vigorously circulating), it was a prior question of biology: the proper sequencing of chicken versus egg.
Today, we’ve tried to address that even more vexing question of chicken intent.
Good luck with that one!
We can help you “lay out” the options; Yes.
But, once hatched, you’re going to have to cross worldview’s superhighway like all the other birds: on your own; two feet and one cluck at a time.